A Place of Remembrance

I sat across from her in a low lit room, eating lunch. We talked about the loss of all three of her children, the last on December 25, 2021. She had attended our grief support group. She even accompanied other parents who lost children, to an addiction recovery center. They shared their losses in hopes to allow those who were currently in treatment, to see how much their families loved them. She encouraged them that despite their mistakes and struggles, they mattered to their families.

At the conclusion of one of our parent support meetings, she did not join us in the closing prayer. She did not leave, but sat quietly in the corner of the room. “I hope you understand,” she began. I am mad at the guy upstairs.” She did not need to explain. I understood. She felt as if she were standing in the world alone. The concept of a loving God made no sense when weighted against the loss of all of her children.

Our conversation continued. “Where are your children’s resting places?” I asked. She hesitated.

“My first son Joshua was placed in a plot that belonged to my great grandmother.” (1886-1957). “My second child, Stephanie, was buried with another family member who served in World War I. There is no stone with her name on it. I could not add her. It was the only option I had and I really just could not handle another loss”, she said as her eyes filled.

“They are in the same cemetery, but not the same place?” I asked for clarification. “Yes” she responded. They are in opposite ends of the cemetery.

She continued to tell the story of yet another loss. Her third child, David. He was cremated and has remained in her home since his passing. She did not know an urn could be placed in a grave. She thought she would have to purchase a site at a mausoleum. She could not put him with his brother or sister. The plots had reached their capacity. Her plans were to have him buried with her when she passed.

I was moved with compassion for her. Before I had the chance to choose my words, I found them spilling out of my mouth. “Let the Banner of Love place your children together as a gift to you for Mother’s Day.” I heard myself saying. Honestly, I didn’t even know if it could be done, why would I say something I had no knowledge about? She was overwhelmed with the suggestion but was hopeful it could be done.

After much research the next two days, I found it could, but was very costly. I remained calm as I knew in my heart this compassionate God she was so afraid to trust wanted to do this for her. He was just looking for willing hearts to believe it for her.

It has been three days since we spoke about it over lunch. She has chosen a new resting place for all of her children. If you would like to assist with this endeavor of love, you may make a tax-deductible donation at www.buildthebanner.org/gift. If you cannot afford a monetary donation, please share.

Thank you for opening your hearts and listening to hers.

And now these three remain, Faith, Hope, Love, but the greatest of these is Love (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Sincerely,

Joy

As we move into Phase Two, please keep the endeavor in your prayers.  Relocation is quite expensive.  We are in the process of corresponding with the Catholic Diocese.  Affidavits are in the final stages.  We have also been in contact with Chistopher Petrozzi, owner of Tilt Trucking and Transportation located in Cranston, Rhode Island, who has generously donated his services and time at no cost. If you would like to make a tax deductible donation please visit: www.buildthebanner.org/gift